0630 The phone rings, it’s the doctor. RT had a bad night needing to be bagged 6 times. They got an xray he says it shows extra fluid in his lungs and his stomach sphincter is dilated from the added pressure of CPAP 7. The doctor suspects the higher pressure made the sphincter open more and the reflux worse.
He wants to intubate.

Well when we went to a CPAP of 7 this was one of my worries I expressed and was dismissed. I was told it shouldent be an issue. Looks like the higher pressure and not venting due to longer feeds exacerbated the issue.

This is one of those times when you have to really hold in your anger and not say I told you so. Even though I so dearly want to just scream at the world.

We quickly head up to the NICU.

RT is getting neopuffed.

Two respiratory therapists bedside. Several nurses. last nights nurse looks very sad. She gives mom a hug and says I’m sorry.

Even though it’s not her fault.

I hold his little hand for a minute.

I ask to see the X-ray.

It looks worse than the last one. But not as bad as some have in the past.

The doctor eventually arrives bedside.

0710 Time to re-intubate. He attempts several times, no luck. He says it’s hard to see, too much milk and secretions in the way. Can’t see vocal cords. Several attempts later he gives up. Long process upset baby, Brady, desat. Neopuffed between attempts.

He leaves and the nurse practitioner comes.

She gets it on the first attempt.

Bloody secretions From traumatic attempts and intubation.

0745 intubated.

He was on 21% for a little. He is angry. He Hates having a tube down. Try’s to caugh it out and get away from it. They put an IV in this morning and put him back on fentanol to try and make him be in less pain and help him not get pissed off and yank it out.

Eye exam, I get to hold his head and arms still to make sure he doesn’t yank out anything or hurt himself tryin to get away from the eye exam.

The eye doctor asks if it’s cruel to make a father do that. I don’t think it is, I think it would be cruel if I wasn’t there for him. But I understan why many parents would not want to watch or help with the eye exam.

ROP is fully regressed for now.

Plus disease is still present in one eye but regrasing.

30% oxygen now. He doesn’t want to initiate his own breaths so the machine is doing it for him. This is what we saw last time

It looks like he is riding the vent.

I think he stays in back up mostly because he knows he can, and we as humans like conserving energy.

But doctors will likely see it as an issue and an indication that something is more wrong or he is getting worse.

That is what happened last time even though I told them.

Already taken blood for a culture to ensure nothing is growing.

Well the fears I expressed two days ago about CPAP 7 and then intubation, the ones that I was told were unlikely, they happened…